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Chapter 6

"OH MY GOD! WOW" Sugni breathe as she watched the furniture off loaded from the truck by the men.

"If you would sign here Ma'am" The lady, Chan said as she handed Sugni the delivery form.        

"I  won all of this?" She asked. She was seeing it but could not believe it. Looking at the beautiful burgundy   living room set that looked soft and comfortable. The workmanship on it was exquisite.  That must have cost more than her stove!  In addition to all of that, there was a microwave oven, a coffee pot and a toaster. Things she never dreamed of owning yet alone buying.

"Yes Ma'am this is all yours. "

"How come  we never heard  about this ...I can't recall..." Rita piped in as she looked at them. She came out when she saw the truck.

Chan looked at her as she smiled.

"Do you shop at the Super furniture store?" She asked.

Well no but...for this big of a promotion..." Rita stuttered

"See this was a special draw, a way to give back, we did a random draw of our data base of all our customers and Ms. Mathur's name came up. Next time be sure to shop with us you might be lucky!"  Chan said. Rita nodded.

"Ma'am I would like to get the payment contract for your stove  so that I can cancel it as soon as I  get back  to the office!" She asked.

"Ahh Sure..." Sugni said as she went inside to retrieve the documents.

"What are you going to do with your current set?" Chan Asked.

"Oh that has to go back to my boss...I guess she will want it back.  I'll get have to get someone to move it."  Sugni wondered whom she could ask. She decided to ask Rita if she knew any one. Knowing Ms. Flam, she would want Sugni to arrange her own transport.

"OHH Where is that?"

"Its up on Palm drive" She said

"If you like we can return it for you." Chan offered. "I mean your place is small and there does not seem to be a place to store it."

"But you guys can't! I mean is that allowed?" Sugni  asked.   She  never  thought  they  would be that  accomadating.

"Normally no but it is closing time, Palm drive is not far from here" She turned to the guys.  "Boys  would you be some darlings  and  drop the old furniture  up to Palm drive...Please?' She smiled. The movers agreed.

"Oh thank much would it cost?" She asked.

"Oh  no ,no don't worry, it's no extra trouble as it is on the way  back to the store.  And this is their last delivery so their time is up."


"It's ok...just call up your boss and let them know we are coming to look out. OK.?"

"Ok Thank you. You are very kind."

"You are welcome!" She smiled.

"Mommy that is so preety! Is it ours?"  Shanti asked wide eyes as she looked on.

"Yes it is yours..." Chan  answered.

Soon the new furniture was unloaded and the old one packed  up on the truck .  Shanti was waving good-bye to the truck, jumping up and down in excitement.

"You are very lucky! " Rita said, a few minutes later  as they all sat in the new set. "Oh wow this is comfortable! Ohh and it has that brand new smell," she said.

Sugni laughed at her expression..

"Well it's a good least you don't have to listen to the old bag  gripe about you taking care of her broken up  set any  more..." She said. Sugni nodded.  She passed her hands over the soft upholstery enjoying the feel of it.

"So did you see him again?" Rita asked. Suddenly

"See who?"

"You know who, Vickram."'

"Uh no why would I?"  Sugni asked.

"I  don't know,  maybe it was the way  he was looking at you...or  the fact that he showed up after...I mean it is obvious he is  interested..." She said.

"No i-i-it's nothing like that...he was just making sure she was ok." She said evasively.

"It did not look like nothing...I mean now that I think about it you were a bit flustered seeing him as well that day and..." She began  speculating again.

"And I was scared to death about Shanti...It is nothing...Listen how about we make some coffee in my new you know how to use it?."  She asked in an attempt to distract her and change the topic from Vickram. It seems no matter how hard she tried not to think of him, something always reminds her...

Thankfully, her strategy worked and Rita followed her in the kitchen as she showed her how to use her new appliances.  For a while, at least Sugni had other things to than about her Thakur Mallick, like enjoying her brand new prizes.

Sugni   sat in her quite living room later that night, as she enjoyed a cup of tea. Shanti was playing quietly on the floor with some dolls.  She had the book Vickram game her opened as she was "teaching" her dolls the words.

Sugni laughed as she listened to the lesson.  The carefree innocents of the child, she thanked God that Shanti was so far a happy and content little girl. She prayed that she held on to that as long as she could.

Sugni looked out the window at the quite street her eyes falling on the car parked obliquely opposite to her building. Oh No! There he was again.

Well something's had not changed in the past six years, he was still a stubborn   man, who would not give up easily

She could not carry on like this, deciding that ignoring   him was not going to   work Sugni stood up.

"Uhh Shanti...I will be right back ok ...I am just going outside. Why don't you pack away your toys now and get start getting ready for bed. I'll be in in a few minutes." She said as she went to the door.

"'kay" Shanti answered.


Vickram looked at the quite building. Everyone was inside. He wondered what she was doing, if she enjoyed "prize" Thank God Chan told him it all went smoothly and she accepted the story at face value.

So here, he was again just looking at her building, doing nothing productive in his plan to be closer to her, but like a magnet, he was drawn here, knowing that she was just a few feet away. Logic told him he would not be able to do this for long, as he was sure she would notice at some time.

The fact that she did not yet was mildly surprising to him. He knew she did she would most likely raise hell on him !

Looking at his  watch   he noticed the time almost   8:30 .P.M. Well he doubted he would see her again tonight. 

Suddenly there was a knock on the window of his car and Vickram  looked  in shock as he saw her standing there.  How ironic, he was looking out for her and   did not even see her approach he was that lost in thought!

Sending down the window of his car, he looked at her. 

"What are you doing here Thakur Saab?"  Sugni asked

I was  just. I um..." he began.

She shook her head as she sighed. "Please don't do this.  We talked about this, leave me alone!" She said.

Sugni...wait...can we talk ...please."  He said

She simply stared at him

"Please... for a few minutes ...have a seat."

Sugni looked at her door, as she contemplated for a few moments,. She knew  Rita  was a busy  body, who was  already speculating about Vickram, if she saw him here  or Sugni talking with him  she would  bombard her with questions, deciding it would be easier  to talk to him and send him on his way  she opened the door and took a seat in the passenger side of the car.

"Sugni I..."  He began.

"Why are you doing this?" She said. "I already told you naa all I want is a peaceful life here. I  thought you  understood that, yet you have been hanging around here  now for the longest while.  Yes."  She said noting the look on his face. "Yes I have noticed you, and I thought if I ignored you,  you would take the hint and  stop it.  All you are doing is making a spectacle of yourself. Please Thakur Saab. I don't want to be   any more food for the gossip mills here as I just moved in . This is  a new start for me, and I really , really  don't want any trouble." She said.

"Sugni I don't want to be any trouble for you."  He answered.

"Then why?" She asked

 "Because...because I  can't..." Vickram blurted. All plans of taking it slow and  steady   crashing and  burning right there.  He could not do that with her. The truth was he could not even consider her less than  anything to  her other than  his  life  partner. Although he was her well-wisher, should she choose someone else over him he'd let her go but he would not be around to see it. Same way as  he could not sit here and lie and  say  all he wanted was  to be her friend because he would somehow end up crossing that line. So he  layed  his cards  on the table.  He  would tell her how he felt.  "Sugni I have tried, ever since I saw you again,  all I  think about is you, I can't concentrate on  anything. I know...I  know... I hurt you. But Sugni  you are the only  woman I  ever loved,  the only  one   my  heart  beats for. And I can't  pretend that I  forgot that, I  can't.  By some strange sign, you are here, just a stone's throw from me. That has to mean something."

Sugni stared at him, dumbfounded.  What was he saying? Her heart beat  sped up...No... She shook her head blinking back her tears that she could not prevent from falling.                                   

"I know I was the one who destroyed your trust, but Sugni I can earn it again. Just give us a chance.  Please. I know you have every right hate me, but somewhere in there, maybe a little part of you still remembers what we had."

Taking his hand, he wiped her cheeks gently. His touch felt like home. She knew she should object but suddenly she could not find words. As always it was difficult arguing with him..

Vickram stared at her, as he looked into her eyes, through the light of the street lamp.  The kernel of hope he was carrying around grew stronger, as she did not push him away.  Maybe...Just Maybe...

"Sugni I spent the last six years hoping praying for a miracle, that one day, one day   you would find it in your heart to forgive me.  What we have together, what we had  is  something that happens once in a life time.  From the moment I met you, until now no matter what happens my  heart is bound to you forever  irrevocably, undeniably, and it always will be." He said softly.

 Her silence  feeding that  hope   inside  him. It was a positive sign...otherwise; she would be screaming at him now na? Vickram bent his head towards hers, bringing his face closer to hers, she felt his breath on her face, her heart was thundering in her chest as she closed her eyes. It was as though time had not passed between then at all. She felt his lips softly   touch hers.

Visions of her daughter floated through her head, as she was instantly brought back to the reality that was her life.  Taking her hands, she pushed him away.

"No!...Stop!" She said

"I'''Iam  Am sorry...I am so sorry!"  He said. "I  did not mean..."

Calling on all her inner strength, she   had.  Sugni said.

"No...Thakur Saab, stop right there.  You know you always had a way with words.  And once I  fell for them, for that false sense of sincerity.  But Not any more..."


"No...You said your piece now listen to me... You said you  love me...well you know what, yes,   I  loved  you to ,  I  thought that you were the one person on this earth I could have trusted.  So much, that had you asked me I would have happily given you   my life. Then you showed me how much that love meant by not trusting me enough with the truth, betraying that trust.  You  broke my  not only  my  heart ...but my  spirit  as well, you made me dislike  the one man I respected above all others. "  Her tears  flowed freely   as feelings  she suppressed for  years  came  bubbling out. Hurt , anger, confusion.

"You say you want my forgiveness, I said it before and I say it again,...I have nothing against you. I don't. But what we had is over, rehashing it will serve no purpose, except bring hurt and pain to us both.   You know something in all my experience with Thakurs, they  always do things  that would suit and benefit them , regardless of who was hurt in the process.  I thought you were different, and it seems  as though in the few years  that has not changed.  You  claim you  love me, yet you can't  uphold my  one request   to you  which is to leave me alone.  No, you have to come here and try to convince me that I should love you back. It must be something in your blood for you to want to own everything naa" She scoffed as she shook her head sadly, "typical wishes mean nothing. If you do love me as you claim you do, then you would respect my wish to be left alone to lead my life as I have been doing the last few years, quiet, peaceful and content."  Joining her hands together   she said, "I am begging you for the last time...please. Leave me alone.Stop following me around. Don't  do this. "

Vickram placed his hands over hers, as he looked at her.. He listened to her and he realized he was indeed being very selfish in all his thoughts in waiting to get back together with her. In all of his happiness over the signs and wanting to make things right for her.  He forgot a very important   detail.  Sugni's feeligs on the matter!.

Looking at her he already hurt her so much She been through hell because of him, and now he was causing her more. She should not shed another tear because of him. And he definitely did not want her begging him.

So he would , he would respect her  wishes, and keep his distance.  If she was happy   with the way things were in her life at the moment , then he would not be the one to bring any  further turmoil into her life.

He did not think it was possible for some one's heart to break twice, but it just did. Letting her go again after just finding her back was more painful than he imagined, but for her sake, he would.

"Don't!...I am sorry  again I  hurt're right."  He closed his eyes , that were suddenly  filled with tears..."I have no right to be here, and I  should respect your  wishes. And I will. I won't bother you any  more won't see me. I  love you  enough to  stay  away  from you.  I  promise you this time  I'll leave you alone.  However this is a big  city and it is  daunting sometimes, and if ever you  need me my  door is always open, no matter what." He said.

They stared at each other sadly for a moment. Until she slowly turned and opened the car door, she stepped out.

"Good bye Sugni!"

"Good bye...Thakur Mallick."  Vickram Smiled, it was six years since  he herd that  term !. And this was probably the last time he would. He watched as she walked into her apartment.  Then he started his car and went   home. Trying to come to terms with the fact that in this life he was destined to  live life alone...without  his love.
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  • Ron
I read half, so far it is good, sugni did not doubt, she accepted her "prize" with happiness and enjoyment.

Vikram is always somewhere near her, after all he is not going to give up.. what will happen next.. that is what ill read tomorrow.
nice progress, maybe slow but good.
After finally finishing reading this chapter I must say, Vikram been always selfish in his thinking, he couldn't trust sugni enough to let her decide what is good for her what is not good. He had to tell her the truth and let her handle it the way she wants to, want to stay or leave. but he never did. He loved her even then even now but can't give her feelings a care, if u love someone u have to think about their feelings too, what if she doesnt love u back? what if she does but she is not able to accept u back. you have to understand, forcing yourself on anyone is not going to work, free them. 
vikram is not a bad man but at times he becomes selfish, all he cares is what he wants but can not hear what other wants.

Nice chapter, knowing vikram, he will not disturb her from now on, unless she comes back he won't. he is always keeping his words and he won't force himself on her anymore.
Sugni is so happy with her new furniture!!!! Smile

Chan handled Rita very well!!!!clap clap clap clap

Shanti is really excited!!!! Laugh

Dropping the furniture might have been overdoing it but Chan handled it perfectly!!!! Clapping

Shanti is so cute and innocent!!!! Angel

Vikram thought too soon!!!! Tongue Tongue Tongue

She did notice him and came there to confront him!!!! 21_y

Vikram confessed his feelings but Sugni poured out how she was hurt!!!! Ouch Ouch Ouch Ouch

Sadly Vikram is now thinking of letting go of her as she told him to!!!! unhappy unhappy unhappy
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  • Ron
Chapter 7

Sugni entered her apartment as she sat on the new sofa in a daze.  Her mind going over the conversation she just had with Vickram.  The way he told her he would respect her wishes this time.  The look on his face, it was heartbreaking, she had no idea who she was hurting for herself, him maybe both.  She was honest enough with herself to admit, that apart from that one lie, Vickram had never  ever  said something he did not mean

For a moment just for a moment she wished things were different and she could say yes to him.  The old Sugni in her would have.  But she could not, she had more important matters at hand other than her desires and her wants.  Her baby came first in the scheme of things. But still...She missed him.. He was the missing part to her heart.
 Unconsciously her fingers went to her lips, as she closed her eyes and remembered...
"So you came!"  Vickram said as Sugni walked into the deserted playground. At this time of day, no one would be here, and it would give them some privacy according to him to talk. Sugni was still feeling weird about his confession that he loved her. She never really thought of him in that manner.
All  she knew is that since she met him, she got a good feeling about him. He was different unlike all the other Thakurs around here. He was kind, understanding, he never used his power to make others feel small.
From the first  day  she met him, as she  took the task to  pick  him up from the train station, and  ended up  mistaking him for someone else and putting him out making him walk the rest of  the way. The fact that he did not punish her for it spoke volumes to her, in a place where these Thakurs think you look at them wrong they would punish you.
Not only that but  he first time he  saved her from those two drunk Thakurs  and  all the time since. He never looked down on her, and he never looked at her  in that uncomfortable way  the others did, as though she was something to be eaten.
Sometimes she would forget herself and say some things that were embarrassing or even down right insulting to his kind, yet he never took offence to  it.  She referred to him as  her  "Thakur Mallick" because in a short time  her respect for him was not out of who he was  or his status but of his genuineness as a human.
Then he shocked her yesterday by telling her he had a confession for her and that he was in love with her. At first she thought he was   joking, but then she realized he was serious.  She told him she never really thought about love and did not even think that way about him. He asked her to think about it,  and he would wait for her answer in the  park here today.
Sugni spent the entire night tossing and turning, she had no idea what to say. She felt nervous and flustered; she had butterflies in her stomach.  She never thought about love really, unless it was something she saw in movies on the rear occasion she  watched them,   She did not even know what that  was. But now the thought was there.
She knew she liked him a lot, but love?. Sugni walked slowly into the park as she made her way  to where he was standing. Nervously wringing her hands. She did not have to come here, but she did, because for some  reason she  could not stay  away.
"Thank you Sugni..." He said   as she looked at him.
"For what?" She asked.
For coming, I take it as a sign you  do feel the same way  to?" he asked.
"Sugn looked at the floor, she could feel her cheeks getting warm, she wanted to look at him but for some reason she could not.
"I-I don't know..." She whispered, as she shrugged.  "Thakur Mallick I never thought of it, about any one or y-you..."
"Then why are you here?" he asked. "You did not have to , if you did not I would have taken your answer to be no." He said.
"Well I ...Um..I.." She swallowed flustered.
"It's because some where you do feel it na..." he  said. As he took her hand in his, and began walking towards the benches. His hand felt warm and comforting..
 Taking a seat  next to him still holding her hand, as she looked at  the lawn. She could feel his  eyes on her. The butterflies in her stomach working overtime.
"Do you have anything to say  about  this, any  questions?" He said.
She shook her head.
"No..." She shrugged again.
"wow...the girl who talks a mile a minute at a loss for words...I  never thought I would see that!"  He said.
"What do you want me to say...I  mean I  never expected you to say   that and ...and this whole thing is just feels strange... I mean you..You are a Thakur and me I am just a  bedni, we are nothing...I  mean.."
"no Sugni are not  just a Bedni, I don't see a bedni  when I look at you."  He said . Sugni looked at him then.
"You don't..."
"No...Sugni we can't control where we were born, you can't change it.  But underneath all the class, status   and everything else, we are just human. Just as we cannot control that, we cannot control whom we fall in love with.  Sugni you are like unlike any one I ever met, you approach each day as though it is an adventure, you never let your circumstances bring you down, and you never dwell on it. Sometimes I wonder how you do that.  You are a wonderful person, who still manages to care about other people. You are frank , candid  honest.  Being around you makes me happy, seeing you sad makes me sad.  When I am away  from you ...I somehow end up thinking about you.  I just want you to be happy, and if I am the one to make you happy then I would count myself a very lucky  man indeed!."  He said.
Sugni Stared at him  not  sure what to say, she was speechless, touched  and  could not believe he thought that way  about her.
"What do you think of me? He asked
What do you mean?"  She answered.
" I mean I just told you how I felt, it's only  fair you tell me...what you think..."
"Me..." She blushed ."I  don't know, you're the kindness person I   know,  your  different from most of the others around here. You have always helped me if I needed it. You have a good heart. And you  don't look like all the dotiwala's   and mushtachwalas ..old Thakurs..." She laughed. As he chuckled.
Well maybe I'll grow one  one day!"  he said  Sugni made a  face.
" would not suite you..." she said. "I mean...sorry.." She looked down again sometimes, she really spoke without thinking.
Vickram    placed his hands on her chin and raised her face to look at him.
" Oh you don't like it? it's ok... Sugni, there is nothing you can't  say  to me" he smiled . as she  smiled   back.  Sugni looked at him, as the  butterflies  in her  stomach  at it again, this time her heart beat joined in.  Looking into his eyes , like she was paralyzed for a moment, she  could not move if she wanted to..
"You  look so beautiful right now.." he  said softly.
Slowly Vickram bent his head, bringing his face closer to hers as his lips  touched hers. For a moment  the world stopped as she did not think she was breathing. She felt as though electric  curents were passing through her. It was a  strange feeling,  her first kiss, , weird but in a good way.
Until her brain  kicked in  and told her this was not right.  He was a Thakur, and she knew they only  had one agenda when it came to bedni's...
 She pushed him away as she stood up...
"No..No  this is not right..!" She said her breathing still shallow as she went back to wringing her hands again.
"Sugni...I am sorry  I  did'nt mean to scare you..I was just..."
" did'nt  bu"but it is wrong...". She said.
"It's not Sugni... " He said coming to stand in front of her.
"Sugni...when you love someone, when you have strong feelings   for someone, you sometimes want to express it  with more than words." He said.
She shook her head..."that is not true...when a Thakur dose a bedni's Sardakhi it is not because he loves it?" she said.
"There is a difference  Sugni...The difference is   when you  love someone, you respect their feeling and  decisions in the matter,  you would not want to  cause them  harm  or hurt., and  you don't do it for selfish  reasons, but as an expression of  how you both feel about each other."
"I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I really  am but Sugni I would never do anything to hurt you, you know that right." He said as he took her hand in his again looking at her intently.
"Sugni you  do you trust me?.
Sugni looked at him. She did trust him..
She may not know what love is, but at that moment, looking at him,  this  had to be love. It was a heady feeling yet scary one.  She  did not trust others  lightly, in her own house, she knew they  would not think twice about selling her  off, if the offer was good.  Vickram was different her heart said it. He loved her. 
She nodded her head.   Her eyes filling with tears for some reason she did not know, she was not sad.
"You're safe with me."  He said. As he wiped her  cheeks.
You promise?..."She asked,  she was about to take a big step ,  her nervousness was growing.
"I promise." He said as he hugged her. "I love you..."
"I"I love you to Thakur Mallick." Sugni whispered as she rested her head on his chest.
"Mummy?"  Shanti said shaking her mother. Snapping Sugni out of her walk down memory lane.
Sugni looked at her daughter. "Hmmm?"
"Why are you crying.? What's wrong mummy." She asked worriedly.
"Nothing baby...I'am just.feeling sad."  She said.
"Why" She asked concerned  as she climbed onto he mother,'s lap and hugged her, comforting her as she   was  whenever she got  scared or sad.
Sugni Hugged her daughter, for a moment drawing comfort from her, as she let her herself grieve for what was lost .
"Don't cry!  What is wrong mummy?" what made you sad?" She asked.
"I - I  lost something...and ... I am sad cause  it's gone.." she said cryptically.
"What did you lose?' She asked
"Oh...something I had a long  time ago..." She said.
you lost it when you went outside?" She said.
Sugni nodded. "Well it is dark out... maybe you will find it in the  daylight...remember when  I  lost my  doll, but  I found it  in the kitchen  ...I was sad  but then when I got it I was happy will find it back I am sure."  She said.
"Thank you baby..." Sugni said , as she smiled at her little girl. She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath.
"I  am ok...I  have you.." She said as she hugged her
"Come  on. Let's get you to bed huh..." she said as she got up.   She needed to pull herself together and be strong in the moment.  That was how she learned to cope, and not dwell on the past but in the present moment.
The next few days were hard; it was as though she lost him all over again.  True to his word, she no longer saw any sign of him or his car. He did promise and so far, he lived up to it.  She threw herself into her work, and her child.  Thankfully, she had a lot to keep her busy.
  Shanti was her saving grace as she came   home from school one evening excitedly informing her mother she had to participate in a school play, and needed to get the costumes.  She was going to play a fairy!. Sugni had three weeks to come up with payments for the costumes, and as she learned, she had to start saving now.
It was good to see her adjusting to  her environment.   Shanti was more or less like her name, a quite  child.  The Thakurs never had any kids, so she was always by herself, she would play by herself contently.  Now that she was in school, she was the same way shy, quite.  But it seemed she was excited about being a part   of the program, Sugni was wondering if that was changing
Sugni was just on her lunch  break when she  her phone rang.   "hello?" she answered
"Hello  Ms. Mathur?
"yes?"  She answered.
" I am  calling  from   little angles  elementary...  Your  daughter, Shanti, she   collapsed   in  class a few  minutes  ago , while there were  rehersing  for the  play.  The ambulance is here  and they  are taking her to the hospital...Ma'am  can you get  down   to  The Local Area  hospital... 
What! Sugni..said   shocked... "how  did  this happen??"
"Her teacher is  with her, she  will explain it to you,  but you  have to get  down  there  as soon as possible."
"o-ok  I  am  on my  way..."  OH God   what has happened? Sugni thought frantic.
 She grabbed her bag as   and as she quickly  found   Mrs. Flam and told her  what had happened.
Within a few minutes,   Sugni was walking through the hospital doors.  She spotted Shanti's teacher in the waiting room and went straight to her.
"Ms. B.  Hello, what happened?"          She asked the young teacher.
"Oh Ms. Mathur... thank God you are here, well we were in calss practicing for the  play. We  were  lerning a dance  routine.  She was ok...then suddenly  in the middle of it she  just fainted. First I thought she  was  exhausted or something...but she would not get up after the school nurse tried to revive her...So we called the ambulance and they  brought her here."
"Where is she?"
"She is in the examining room. Come...I'll take you."  Sugni followed the teacher. To the back where her   daughter was being examined.
"Doctor...Shanti's mother is here."   She informed the doctor.
" right there..."
The doctor said... after a few minutes he moved the  curtain and  stepped aside.
Sugni was shocked to see her daughter lying there looking pale and she was hooked up to some machine that was beeping.
She walked up to her.
"Mummy...I  want to go home... I am scared,"   Shanti said as her eyes filled with tears on seeing her mother.
"Yes baby I know...It'll be ok..." She said  as she   leaned over her and hugged her. She was scared to.

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  • Ron
I Started reading the chapter and must say, Vikram did love her and respected her, his 1 lie deleted all the good deeds he did.
Now that he left, sugni remembers her life with him, how they met n all.
must say beautifully written, will read more n comment too.
while reading i was missing you vinnie, pata nahi just made me miss you, those words those days just came in my head while reading so i stopped but will continue soon. anyway.. great start.
Sugni's feeling sad for losing him was nice part of this chapter, their memories were nice. reminded me of orepiya dance. sugni made a decision and now she has to face it, vikram won't disturb her now. 
the last part, was sad one, what happened to shanti, let's see in next chapter.
Chapter 8

 Two days after Sugni walked back into the hospital, tired, and worried. The doctor said he wanted to do some test on Shanti and would have to results in a few days. He said there was something funny about her heart sounds. What did that mean?? She had to wait two days to find out.

Sugni spent the last two days at her daughter's bedside, telling Mrs. Flam she could not come out to work yet. She returned home only to have a quick shower and a bite to eat. She kept praying that it was nothing and the test showed she was fine and they let her out.

"Hey baby.." She said

"Mummy ...what took you so long..." Shanti was placed in the cardiac ward as they needed to monitor her heart and the children's section did not have the equipment.  She was in a ward with six other female patients of varying ages and she was scared of them and all the beeping machines.  She was a trooper though; as long as Sugni promised to return as soon as possible, she would stay for a few hours alone.

It was not the best situation, but  the only  one Sugni could  afford at the  moment, since they   initially  treated their patients for free.  For cases that were more serious, that required surgery there was cost involved in that, or if you wanted faster treatment you had the option to pay. 

"Sorry baby. A lot of traffic... I brought your new book." She said handing it to her the book Vickram gave to her. She loved it.

"Can we go home today?' She asked

"I hope so... you want to have some breakfast now?" She asked her.


She just finished feeding her and was about to take her for a bath when the doctor came in.

"Good morning Mrs. Mathur."

"Ms. Mathur...Good morning. Did you get the rest of the results back?" she asked          

"Sorry Ms. Mathur... yes we did would you come into my office after I finish this exam so we can speak.' The doctor said.

"Ok."She said.

"Hey Shanti.." the doctor turn to her... "Do you mind if I listen to your heart...and then you can listen to mine?" Shanti laughed.

"Where you aware that your daughter had a hole in her heart" The doctor told Sugni a few minutes later as he they sat in his office

Sugni shook her head, .shocked at that.

" I am surprised no one picked it up on it during doctor visits." He said.

"Well apart for having her normal shots, she was never sick...she was always healthy I mean..."

"She was never active much?" He asked

"no...she is a quite child, she rather play with books or dolls than run around."

"hmm maybe that is why..." He mused. He looked at Sugni,  as he nodded sadly.

"Well Ms. Mathur... I am sorry to inform you that..Shanti has a hole in her heart ,that according to these results is a big one. Usually  it is  something the child is born with  and in some cases the hole closes up on its own .But with Shanti, that is not the case and at her age it is advisable we rectify the problem now with Surgery. If this goes unattended with the size...I am afraid things could get much worse."

Surgery?...heart problem? Oh God... Oh my God..." cried as her the news sank in. "Wait is dangerous right..."

"Yes with any surgery there are some risk, but if she does not do it, we are looking at hospital stays like this one, and with the hole getting bigger it will put more pressure on her heart and her, which will eventually give up." He said

"Oh God!" Sugni began crying. Unconsciously she wrapped he arms around herself. This could not be happening. Not her baby ...Please god not her baby.

"Ms. there someone who can be here with you...her father maybe..." The doctor said.

"Huh...N-No it's its just me and her. Doctor you have to save her please...what do we have to do?" She asked. No Shecould not break down. She looked at him, for him to tell her how to proceed.

"Well the only option right now is surgery...but..." He trailed off like he had more bad news


"It is costly"

"Costly? How much?" she asked

$17, 000." he said.

Sugni was stunned. ..."I don't...I don't have that kind of money I..I""She closed her eyes.

"I know this is hard for you right now.. We can give you some time to arrange something. The longer she stays without the surgery ...the harder it will be for her." He said.

"I ll give you some time to think about what you want to do. For now...I'd like to keep her and monitor her for a few more days.. Her blood levels are a bit low ..I would like to get that up before we send her home."

Sugni got up in a daze as she walked back to her daughter's bed side. She was asleep. How could this be , she was fine two days ago. She was playing and laughing, and all excited, and now she was lying there possibly dying ...Oh God.

She sat at her side taking her little hand in hers. No...No she had to find a way to get the surgery done. Sitting around crying will be of no help. . Thinking quickly she knew she had about $2000 in savings...that was something she guessed. She had to do something.


Ma'am please..." Sugni said as she looked at Mrs, Flam " I need this daughter is really sick, don't do this please."

" oh I have heard that excuse before from my previous girl. Some sob story about a sick relative only to take my money a flee without a trace. It did not take you long to try that scam on me!" Mrs. Falm said scathingly. Ma'am it is the truth, she is in the hospital, I have been with her all this time... I swear...'

"Yes neglecting my work..! I don't need this from you bad because I did kinda like you.. Anyways you can go there is no need for you to come back. You are fired." Mrs. Flam said.

"Mrs. Flam please..don't do this ...where would I go...please..." She begged.

 Opening her purse , Ms Flam took out some cash. "This is for the last week you put in." She handed her the money "Good bye Sugni..." Mrs Flam said turning away from her.

 Sugni walked out of the house in shock. She was just fired. She came here with the hopes that she could get some assistance from her boss. She was the only person who could help her right now.

But as she walked in her boss started raving at her for not showing up for work the past few days, despite the fact that Sugni informed her of her daughters illness.

 Then she told her she could stay out and not return to work since she likes to make excuses. She out right called her a liar and refused to believe anything she had to say .

 The last few days had been hell for her. After her conversation doctor. She came home and informed Rita about her predicament. It was Rita's idea that she approach her boss for assistance, knowing that it was an emergency.

 Then instead of Shanti's blood going up as they were waiting for, she started to get worse, her heart rate going off irregularly that had the doctors more concerned about her health. They did not say it but Sugni could sense that something had to be done and soon.

She spent most of the time at her daughter's bed side, Today she came out with hopes to approach her boss lady, for some assistance, as she did not know anyone else.

Sugni walked into her little apartment not five minutes when there was a knock on her door. She opened it to reveal her neighbor.

"Hey you're back!...I brought some must be hungry."

"Thanks!" she said gratefully as she set it on the table. "I'll take it with me to the hospital" She said.

"Maybe you should get a few hours rest...You've been up and down all week and sleeping on a metal chair is not helping."

"I can't leave her for so long." She said.

"I'll just grab some fresh clothes, shower change and leave." She said.

She needed to keep herself busy right now.

"Sugni...What happened with Mrs  Flam?" She asked.

Sugni stopped not saying anything.

"Sugni? Hey what happened?" she asked noticing the way she was.

Sugni began to cry as the overwhelming feeling of helplessness began to take hold of her.

"She ...She fired me..." She said

"What? Why?'

"She ...She... said that I was making it all up and it was all a scam... And that I didn't have to come back any more...Oh God...Rita...What am I going to do?" She said

Unbelievable! " Rita exclaimed in horror.."That woman is heartless." She said. Taking Sugni by the shoulder, she led her to the couch to sit...

"Listen...don't are better off not working for her.!" She said.

"But I need the job. I have rent and now this..."

"Hey...look forget about the rent...ok... right now what is important is Shanti. I had a feeling she would not want to help you...I did not think the bag would fire you..." Reaching into her shirt pocket she pulled out a small piece of paper...' Here take this it might help." She said handing her a check for $5000.

Sugni stared at the check..."This...I...Rita..."

"I know it is not enough, I wish I could do more but it is all I can manage for now. " She said looking at her sadly

Rita...I don't know what to say...thank you!" She said as she hugged her. "And I promise I will pay you back some day..."

"It's ok...whenever you can...and listen don't worry about the rent ok...until you don't get another job. You just concentrate on that little angel of yours." She said

"You are so kind...thank you so much..."

"You don't have to thank me Sugni I wish I could help you more. I've been there...I know what it is like to have a child sick..I could not do anything for my little one...but if I can help you I will." She said tearfully.

Sugni looked at her landlord. She never thought of Rita of someone with problems, she was always a pleasant person, kind., and she seemed to have a fondness for Shanti...but she never mentioned anything about a child, not that Sugni asked her.

"Your little one?" She asked.

"yes..." She nodded sadly. "Two years ago I lost them, my husband and child, they were returning home from a field trip, when they met with a car accident. My Husband died instantly, but my little boy...he spent a week in the hospital in pain...and nothing could save him...his internal injuries to sever. "

"I am so sorry!' Sugni said.

"it's ok..After they left I came here...invested in this building and doing my best to move on. Your Shanti is a lot like my little boy was, both were the same age , both of them sweet , quite children." She wiped her eyes looking at her.

"I see how much you do for her. I know what ever brought you here Sugni, is a painful past. But I believe everyone deserves a second chance. Don't worry...she will get through this have faith." She said.

Sugni nodded. She hoped so she really hoped so. 

"Please can't you accept this...I promise I will come up with the rest of the money..." Sugni told the doctor. The next morning.

"I am sorry is against hospital policy. I am afraid we can' t accept that as a down payment" he said handing her the check she just handed to him.

"But Doctor..."

"Listen I know, this is hard but I don't make these rules. "Sugni looked at him helplessly

"Why don't you wait awhile, her blood reports look good, improving and  she should be well enough to get discharged in about two days. We will join her to the clinic here, and monitor her, as

long as you see to it she follows the our instruction and takes it easy she should be alright, in the mean time you can see about raising the funds somehow." He said.

"But you said that it was important she had the surgery done as soon as possible, now you are telling me to wait?". Sugni said. Unbelievable that these people would put money in front of saving a child.

"I am sorry what else can you do.."

"And what happens if she gets worse in the mean time?" Sugni asked.

"We will treat her..." he began.

"Sure you just would not do the operation that could save her life, very good because of money my child's life hangs in the balance" She said disgusted.

"I am sorry I know this is hard for you, but I don't make these rules. We will do all we make her as comfortable in the meantime..." He said


"I have to go now on my rounds..." he said anxious to get out of this awkward situation. He made to leave , with Sugni staring at him.

 Now what? She had to take her child home, care for her, plus find a job and a way to raise funds. How was she supposed to do all of this? Sugni was praying for some kind of miracle to happen. Maybe she would wake up and all this would be a nightmare.

She could not even break down properly because she had to put on a strong face for Shanti. She made her way back to her daughters' bedside, where she was lying on the bed.

"Hey Shannu!" She said as she took a seat at her side.

"Hey I going home today? "She asked hopefully.

"Soon baby soon..." She said.

"I have been in here forever, and I feel better now...I miss my school and I am supposed to be in the play..." She said.

" will be back to school soon, just need to rest now so you can get strong again." She said.

"How about I read your story for you huh?" She said to distract her. It worked as she was caught up in the tale of princesses and dragons.

Sugni returned home a few hours later, Shanti was asleep and she had to see about some essentials like laundry as she was running out of clean clothes. She decided to tidy the apartment as she was at, cause sitting around staring at the walls was depressing, not seeing any way out. As she was dusting the counter, her hand knocked over a call card that was sitting on it. Taking it up she read it. On the front was the name Thakur Vickram Singh incorporated, at the back was his home address. His parting words to her in the car came back to her. , and if ever you need me my door is always open, no matter what." Sugni looked at the card for a long time, wondering what to do, until finally she made up her mind.

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So I read chapter 8

it is sad thing that shanti has hole in her heart and sugni got fired, no job no money, what will she do, will she ask vikram's help or will not. 

as a mother she will, as a woman she wouldn't, mother overcome woman in this case and i m sure she will ask him to help them.

sad to hear about rita's lost family..!

nice chapter.
Chapter 9

Vickram sat in his darken bedroom, staring at the wall from the light that had been filtering thought the window. It could not be later than seven PM, but he did not care. What was time?, nothing really except in his case it seemed to have stopped.

Since he left Sugni that night, Vickram reverted to his old self, staying by himself hardly talking to anyone. If his family was shocked by his behavior they stayed quite after his mother tried, and he told her point blank, if she had a problem with it, he can stay in his house and she could forget dinner time. He knew it was harsh, but all he wanted was to be alone. They figured he was in one of his moods again and he would snap out of it. They were wrong.

Staying away from her knowing she was right here was not easy. How was she? , what was she doing? What did she wear to work today? He was tempted to go back and park outside her home, but if he did that he would just hurt her again and he did enough of that to last her a life time.

So he came back here where at least he could see her. Remember her. Unable to take it any more Vickram got up and made his way downstairs, where he went to retrieve a bottle of whiskey. As he did the past few nights, drowning his sorrows in a bottle of liquid fire was the only thing keeping him sane.

He laughed at the irony , who would have think he would end up the real life version of a Devdas least he died two feet away from his lady love, Vickram did not even have that to look forward to.

He poured himself the straight shot quickly downing the drink, closing his eyes as it burned its way down his throat.. Making another one with ice this time he took the bottle as he was about to make his way upstairs. He stopped when he heard the knock on his front door.

 Adi again...really he was in no mood for a lecture this time. Placing his bottle down he took the glass and made his way towards the front door. Sighing he opened it stopping in shock at the sight that stood in front of him.

Clearly, he did go over the deep end because suddenly Adi looked like strong was that one drink. Because he knew, it would be a cold day in hell before she showed up at his front door.

"He-Hi" She said as she was nervously twisting her hands. "I - a sorry I should have first called . Can I talk to you?"

Vickram blinked to clear his head, as he shut his mouth which was opened in shock she was really here?

Sure sure. Come in come right in..." he said moving aside for her to enter.

Sugni took a seat in the living room looking around. Vickram was still in disbelief that she was here.

"Ah...can I get you something to drink?" he asked.

She looked at him nervously shook her head.. then she pointed to his hand. Vickram looked at his hand which was holding the whiskey he forgot about.

"Whiskey?" he asked shocked, that was the last answer he expected. There was a time she thought alcohol was evil. She nodded.

"Ok..." he said going to the bar. "Soda or cola?" He asked.

"Just ice please." Wow! On the rocks, Vickram was beginning to wonder if he was in some weird dream. Sugni and hard liquor since when?

"I did'nt know you drank." He said he could not hide his surprise.

She shrugged.

Making the drink, he returned to her handing her the glass. She took it as she took a sip, the burn of the alcohol making her cough, as she scrunched up her face. Clearly she was not an expert, that was a relief to him.

Taking a seat opposite her Vickram looked at her as some of his good sense came back. Something was wrong he could feel it.

"ah where is Shanti?" He asked. As much as he could tell, she and the child were inseparable.

" She...uh sh...She is with Rita..." She said, it was the truth, Rita agreed to sit with her after Sugni told her she had to see someone who might help her.


"My land lord." She said. He nodded, as if it made sense.

"So what brings you here?' he asked looking at her. She was staring at her glass as though it held the world of answers for her.

"What's wrong Sugni?"

Talking a breath, Sugni downed the rest of the drink as she rested the glass on the center table.

" I need your help" She said

"Help? What kind of help?" He asked

"I need...some m-money" She stuttered. "I..I'll pay it back somehow..."

"How much?" He asked, obviously she was nervous about this.

"$17,000." She said.

"Seventeen thousand dollars? Why?" He said. Why would she need that kind of money all of a sudden?

Sugni did not know how to say it...there was no easy way to say it so she blurted it out.

 "Shanti... My baby ...She is very sick...she needs to have an operation and they won't do unless I come up with the money. If she does not get it done...she won't get better...I tried everything...I didn't know where else to go..." She said her eyes began welling up.

 "What Oh My God!..." He said looking at her. As what she told him sank in.

Sugni looked up at Vickram who was staring at her.She was sure he was wondering why should he help her?. With the walls closing in on her, she had no choice. What else could she do? She was jobless her baby could be dying. Desperate times called for desperate measures. And for her daughter she would go to any lengths.

 Slowly she stood up walking over to where he was, she sat next to him. She placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Please..." She said..."I'll do anything You say..! " She whispered.

Vickram head swiveled around to look at her, as he looked at her hand. What was she saying?

"Huh?" He said.

"Anything you want." She leaned forward as she placed her lips over his. Making it clear what she meant. .
"Wha..what are you doing?" he asked getting up. He could feel his anger beginning to rise.
He pulled back from her...

She was prostituting herself?.
Vickram got up. "What is wrong with you?" He said. " Is that what you think I want. In all the time we were together Sugni...Is that all you think my feelings for you was based on. Oh God... How could you.?!" He said. As he looked at her , she had her head bent...crying.
"So came here, for my help...but since asking is like begging to you, you decided'll sleep with me... for the money and that's it! Deal done!...I am that cheap huh?? That is the worth you give to yourself, and my feelings for you. Unbelievable." He said. His anger stemming from the fact that she put so little value on herself .
 Sugni wrapped her arms around herself, as he ranted at her. She honestly did not know what she was thinking, when she came here. All she knew is if anyone could help her now it was Vickram. She also knew that what she was asking of him was to help his enemies child. She saw there was no lengths these men would not go in their hatred for each other, why would he help her save the child of his enemy when it was that man who made no secret the only reason took Sugni was because Vickram had her.
Even then she knew that on some level Vickram himself was interested in her, after all the stalking he did trying to win her back. This should have been easy or so she thought, except now, he was mad and she lost the only chance she had to save her child. He was literally her last hope.
Sugni began to cry earnestly now.. Her world was falling apart again and she could not stop it..
"Sugni?" Vickram said as he touched her shoulder.Oh God! Watching her sobbing melted his anger. She must really be at the end of the road to be here, and instead of helping her he was ranting at her. "I am sorry I didn't mean to say all that."
She looked up at him, the desperation clear on her face.
" baby I can't lose my baby. I can't lose my baby!" She sobbed.
"Hey ...No..." Vickram said . He sat next to her as he hugged her. "Shh don't cry..."
"Sh..She's all I have" No it wasn't he wanted to say but did not.
"'s going to be alright," He said. Her anguish was heart wrenching.
He held her as she cried. All the frustration, fears helplessness coming out now. She rested her head on his chest crying. Drawing comfort from him in a way no one else was ever able to give her.
After a few minutes he pulled back to look at her wiping her face. "Don't worry...I'll help you ok."
"You-you will?" She asked looking at him. He nodded.
"Tell me what happened?" He asked
"Well, about a little over a week ago she went to school, and was really excited because she was in the school play. While practicing she fainted and they could not revive her..." Sugni told him what happened, the doctors diagnoses everything. "Now they are saying I need to get the money or no operation.'. her eyes welled up again. She could not stop crying it seemed.
"alright...alright" Vickram said. "Sugni don't worry I am here I'll make sure she gets the best care, even if that means we have to do it somewhere else. She will be alright." He assured her. Sugni looked at him, he was still willing to help her? After the fool, she just made of herself and the way she insulted him with her behavior.
"Thank you...t-thank you. I-I- promise I'll pay you back." She said
"Forget that right now. Let's just make sure she is taken care of. Hmm. " he said as he held her hand.
Both of them sat in contemplative silence for a moment. As Vickram looked at her.
"Sugni...can I ask you something?" he said.
"Since when have you started drinking?" he said indicating her empty glass on the table.
"It started because I had to and then it sort of helped" she said. Of course, her behavior would shock him.
"Had to?" he asked confused. Sugni wondered if she should tell him how she did, but she could not lie about it either, whether they liked it or not it was a fact of her life now.. She may not be proud of it, but she was not going to pretend it did not happen.
"hmm..Thakur Vijay Singh thought it would be fun one day to make me drink, refusing him was not possible." She said in a faraway voice, not unless you wanted to get up with a few bruises the next day... she thought. Anyways after a couple you get numb, don't feel I didn't mind it." She said.
"I really messed you up didn't I?" Vickram said. After herd her explanation. He did not think he could feel any worse about himself.
She shook her head. "No...No you did not. I choose to do it. I said yes. I went through with it." She said
"But to you I am just like him na. the fact that you made that "offer" tells me that.."
Sugni bent her head as feeling of shame washing though her. He was nothing like that.
"I am sorry." She said. She did not know what else to say. She herd him sigh.
"You don't get it do you Sugni...I love you..." he said
 She raised her head to look at him "Thakur Mallick..."
"No..I know you don't feel the same. You don't trust me. It's ok. I cannot control the way you feel about me. And I will accept that you probably will never trust me again. But you can't stop the way I feel about you either. And nothing you do , or did will change that. Nothing."
"What.." She began not sure what to say.
"Shh..." he smiled "I don't want you to do anything. Except stop worrying. It is getting late and I am sure you want to get back to your daughter. Let me just freshen up a bit and I take you to the hospital."
"OK." She said
Vickram got up and went upstairs, Sugni stared after him. What could she say to him? As always he was here again to get her out of a tight spot. Asking for nothing in return. No matter what she did or said he never looked down on her, always doing his best to get her out of it. Always telling her she was more than she thought she was.
If that was not love Sugni...then what else is? Her heart said. As silent tears trickled down her cheeks as a slight smile graced her lips , she could not deny that fact. Beyond reason, beyond anything she could comprehend he did love her.

Sugni leaned back against the couch as she tried to sort through all the emotions she was feeling at the moment. Anxiety of her child, yet hope that she will get better now, she was marveling at the fact that she had her Thakur Mallick back. She closed her eyes for a moment.

Then that voice started in her head, wiping the smile from her face. He loved her was true. However  was she worth it though? No Sugni. After all she went through, all she did. She ruined the love they shared. She tainted it.

Yes If  she accepted his love now, undoubtedly he would give it to her. She was nothing compared to him. This could never work. He deserved someone much better than her. Someone who would not burden him down, but bring him the happiness he deserves.

She intruded in his life now, breaking her own rule that he stay away and just made things difficult. She had to solve it. Find a job pay him back , get out of his life again.

"Oh Thakur Mallick I am sorry" She thought, tiredly. Suddenly she was exhausted, her body finally catching up with all the last week of running around. Sugni fell asleep still wondering how to solve this...

Vickram came back down stars ten minutes later, showered and changed. This evening surely took a very unexpected and eventful turn. A part of him was wondering if this was all a crazy dream. The desperation and fear on her face though telling him that this was in fact happening.

He knew that at this hour they administration office might be closed, , but just in case he grabbed his check book. He knew she was worried and he would do all he could to help get her and her little girl out of this.

There was so much he wanted to talk to her about, but she was under a lot of stress and he did not want to add to it by bringing up the past. He herd more than enough for the evening!. She already been through enough and he did not want to bring it all back again. He hurt her enough already.

"ALL SET?" he said as he came back downstairs into the living room. He made his way to the living room he stopped as he looked at her . She was fast asleep sitting upright, her head back in an uncomfortable position. She must be exhausted! Walking toward her, he shook her lightly.

"Sugni?" yep she was dead to the world alright. Vickram looked at his watch. It was nine P.M. He was sure if there was any change in Shanti's condition they would call. He looked at Sugni the dark circles under her eyes, and he figured she could use all the rest she could get at this time.

He picked her up as he carried her upstairs to his room, he placed her in the bed, covering her with the comforter. She did not even stir once. Vickram sat at her side softly passing his fingers through her hair. He should not be touching her, but it he could not stop himself.

This was probably the last time he would be this close to her , he did not want to lose that. "Oh Sugni...I would do anything to make you happy again anything, even if that means staying away from you" he said. He would help her for sure, be here for her but as soon as Shanti got back to good health, Vickram would go back to respecting her wishes, and stay away from her.

Sugni came to him, not because of her feelings but because she was desperate, and judging from what happened earlier she fully expected him to take advantage of that. That hurt worse than if she had took a knife and stabbed him. Maybe he deserved it for betraying her, he would take it as his just punishment.

He spent a long time just watching her sleep, cherishing this time with her. After she was gone he could remember this with her here in the flesh instead of some lifeless photos. Eventually his eyes began closing down, as exhaustion also took its toll on him.

Getting up Vickram made his way to the small sofa at the other side of the room , where her lay down facing her, he looked at her until his eyes refused to stay open anymore and sleep over took him...

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